Alone?
I think this is another one of those blogs that I would like to be anonymous, but I need somewhere to throw all my thoughts down without knowing what's to come next. That's my disclaimer.
Do I feel alone? Perhaps. I know better though. I'm not. I have a great God who is looking out for me day and night, week after week, every up and EVERY down. Again and again and again. I thank Him for that because I don't have it in me to carry on alone. With Him though, I can do it. And well. In my own strength, what good am I? You know that crappy old shoe you threw out awhile ago? Without God's strength I'm that shoe in the garbage. Useless.
Do I have ANY excuse to be out of strength? No. I don't. "I can do all things through Him who gives me strength." He lets us and wants us to come to him for our strength. He wants us to use his strength and not our own. If we are out of strength, we should be going to him to re-fill our tanks. OFTEN. There's no excuse for us to be out of life or energy for life because we have an incredible God.
Is it hard? It shouldn't be... But for some reason, we wait...and wait....and wait until we are riding on the red line. Why not fill up? 'Oh, but I can make it a little further with what I've got.' WHAT AM I THINKING?!?! This gas is free!! Not like the $1.10 we pay for our stupid cars! We don't even have to leave the stinkin house to fill up. Just open that hole in your face and talk! 'Ask and you shall receive!'
I don't know where this is coming from. I feel like I got on a rollercoaster last night I think. Got on...meh, I'm alright. This morning, well...tired, but it hasn't gone down the hill yet. Now? WHHHOOOOAAAAA!!!!! You know those butterflies you get in your stomach as you are barrelling down the other side of that hill you just climbed? I'm in the middle...the car has gotten stuck on that ramp...I'm looking way down, face first onto the ground that is so far away. I'm just waiting in fear for the ride to start again with a jolt and I will fall the rest of the way down.
What happens when I finally get to the bottom? He'll pick me up. He doesn't want to teach me a lesson at 'the end of the road'... The road IS the lesson. You learn through the whole thing. Again... the road IS the lesson. The whole thing is the learning process. Not how I'm going to come out of it on the other side. How I will be transformed by him.
See that bump on the log over there? It has a face on it...I think it kind of looks like me.
You know that rollercoaster? Yeah, I know which one you're talking about. Funny, cause tomorrow, I'll be more than half way up again. These things don't last for long. It's all strange.
Took a break....
Had some laughs, chatted with my fabulous roomies. I have the greatest roommates. I love them. God places people exactly where and when you need them. I have learned that a lot over the last year.
posted by Megan at 9:55 PM
12 Comments:
Well and very interesting Post Megan... but to be honest very much needed for most I think. Its true I think we do to much on our own in this society. With so much given to us we are brought on with the idea we can do so much by our selves... We all need to become completely dependent on God and His leading showing us the way and leading us were He wants us to go and to go on His leading and strenghts... Thank you MEgan for this post I needed it...
TheDrake
As I was doing my bible study I felt compelled to blog it here. This morning your blog touched me directly and I want to thank-you for reminding me that the road is the lesson and how I will become transformed! Every day I read the "Our Daily Bread" as well as the "Utmost for His Highest" (found on www.rbc.net)As quoted from the sites according to Ruth 4:13-22: 'Naomi's life shows us that sometimes the worst thing that happens to us can open the door for the best that God has to give us. AMEN to that!
Hey
You left a comment on my site and I thought I should answer your question... no I'm actually not from manitoba. I'm from Edmonton. No I'm not the christian recording artist Amanda Falk... if that is what you were asking. Everyone asks so that's why I assume that. I actually can't sing or play any musical instrument at all.
God Bless, Amanda
well honey, it seems that you've managed to make sense of your feelings where as i tend to stay in the editing room of my own most of the time. i appreciate your thoughts and am glad it wasn't just an anonymous quote! You're real and authentic.. I love you for that.
Can't wait for friday!
I really like the quote you gave, "He doesn't want to teach me a lesson at 'the end of the road'... The road IS the lesson." The motion-sickness part of the ride will soon be over, and the rest of the ride will become enjoyable. Thanks for the quote, it was an epiphany of sorts.
Funny. I used to hate the Roller Coaster. The first time i went on one I got off, i was pale as a sheet, and could harldy move out of the position i was in, white knuckled hanging on to the safety bar. As life went on, i got back on the Roller Coaster and began to love it, i don't really know where this is going, maybe i've lost something, a fear of the elevator that comes from avoiding the ride for three years, or maybe something else. What you said though about doing things on your own strength, story of my life...I don't know why, but the way you described that, i feel like thats me, and i don't want it to be, but thats just how it ends up being all the time, i feel like i can do stuff, and most of the time i seem to accomplish it, i guess it's gonna take a big crash for me to realize i can't do anything, and then actually live like i can't do anything. The head knowledge is there, it's gotta reach my heart, and come out in how i live.
Ya... Head and heart... so true! That was the problem with the Scribes and the Pharisees in Jesus' day. That is why Jesus said that unless our righteousness surpasses that of the Scribes and Pharisees (that is Law, or self work) then we will never enter the kingdom of the heavens (experience true heaven on earth). I'm there too much of the time unfortunately. However, getting us to this point takes time, so this reverts back to the quote "The road IS the lesson." Anyhow, I'll stop now.
Thanks so much Megan. U rock. This is something I definitely have to keep in mind... sometimes I think about as God as a 'vending machine' that I go to when I'm thirsty or only in my desperation... but really God wants to bless us so richly in every aspect of our life... He wants to continuously top us up with grace and more. God Bless.
Megan... only another week till you get to see me again!!!
Hi Megan! Remember me? From Caprenwray? I sat on the bus with you from Paris to Amsterdam.
By the way... I miss you so much!
Megan... please call me. I need directions to edmonton.
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