Real Live Nativity Scene

We're home for the holidays. There were about seven of us who thought it would just be a normal Sunday morning at Parkview Alliance and never dreamed that Diane Ellard would approach us with a 'favor'. She came around and individually asked each of us if we would be in her 'nativity scene' for her work at the nursing home in town. We all agreed, to what...we weren't too sure. But if it involved Ellards and Bauers, it's bound to be a good time right? Ha. Just like Christmas Morning. It's a tradition. Bauers go to Ellards all wearin' their new duds and Ellards stay in their jim jams and get to show us all their presents and Diane and Pat my wife saver for breaky. Excellent. Grand tradition.

Anyhow, we all showed up at the nursing home, and Diane says, "You guys can be whatever you want!" We're thinkin, what? Alright, I want to be a sheep...no sheep.. so I was Mary. We all just started to put random clothes on and I found face paint. Great idea! A nativity scene with face paint! So I started to draw a beard on my sister. In revenge, she drew me mustache looking lips...and fish tail eyes for all the girls. We had wonderful looking kings as well...Check out the chest hair on this one!

We were now dressed, and so away we went. My Joseph (role casted by my sweetheart, Matthew) led me through the swirly twirly gumdrops and the candy cane forest to a town called Bethlehem, you know the story. When we got there....I was frantically looking for the 'fetus' I was to give birth to on the stage! And found it under the manger, so I managed to pull off a relativly real looking delivery as I pulled out my stuffing.

After all was done, we magically became a choir on the command of Diane. We sang carol after carol and we laughed and I cried...cause my eyes water when I laugh. And that wrapped things up for the afternoon. It was eventful. Just wanted to blog as a memory. Have a very Merry Christmas!!!

Jungle of Procrastination? Funny, I Didn't See It That Way

So, I just finished writing my Anatomy Final..It didn't go so well. And I'm waiting for my Dad and sister as she is flying in today. I thought, what could possibly be more useful to me right now than making a candy jungle of paper and play-do. Yes, I'm 20, yes I have another final tomorrow. Was this beneficial to me? OF COURSE! Why else would I have done it?

So right now, I'd like to take you on a little tour. Buckle your seat belts, and for the love of your arms, KEEP YOUR HANDS INSIDE!!!

Well, first off, at the top, you see the shot taken from the airplane. That gives you just a bit of an overview of what we will be seeing today.

Next, let's take a small walk into the BEAR CAVE!! That's right folks, a bear cave..However...there are no bears...What we do have for you are lions, hippos, (yes i said it, hippos in a cave), and an elephant. They've become friends. Rent is cheaper that way. Can you blame them?

Next, we're going to go visit the pond. Here we have...OH, oh,, please.!! Be quiet! You sir, with the toupee! Shush!! They will get you and your little dog too! As I was saying, here at the pool, live the Applegators.. They're fierce, they only live with other little aligators which are hiding behind them right now. Oh, we came on a good day!! Let's zoom in here now, and watch the action.

No sudden movements now!! This is getting scary, Oh my word! What has he got?! Why it's a tucan, Oh, the feathers are flying and the bird is squawking!! My goodness that's a dreadful sound! Oh Mr. Franque! Please no! Do not try to lick him!! AHHH, NOO! This isn't happening, I'm not going to get my 'accident-free-bonus'!! Please stop, don't eat the eyeball! ...................

SANAPPPP!!! CHOMP!! GUSH!! POW, KAZAM! WHOOSH.....GULP.. (Help! -cry from in the applegator belly)

How unfortunate...We lost him, I was going to buy a new broom with that money...You know, the really good brooms... Guess the floor will have to wait until next month and we can only hope still.

Well, I think it would be safest if I wrap up now after that little incident. Ummm, so this is the candy jungle.. If I fail physiology tomorrow...I'll at least have this blog to remember.

Please have a further look around if you'd like, admire the detail...Watch yourself.

The Bacon Bitters

Oh welcome to the show! We are a new band that has recently formed as a result of ridiculously stupid nursing exams. If you're lost, join our fanmail group and you can receive our newsletter. Thanks.

It all started out with our lead guitarist. Turns out she does not have any rhythm and we're not sure how she made the cut. But anywas, the band then decided that we needed a little something to keep the beat, and that banging on the wall just was not going to cut it any longer. So, we went to the next level and invested in another instrument.. My dear bandmate went upstairs of her grandfolks house and got our newest band member....She came back with a jar of bacon bits. The problem was they were unopen so it did not shake very well. We can fix that...so we dumped half of the jar out onto a piece of paper. Excellent, now it shakes like jello!

Now, I would like to introduce you to the band:

On the right we have the fabulous, most gorgeous nursing student number 1. STEPHANIE GREEN MCAULEY!!!! She likes chicken, no dessert, and long walks on the U of A campus. She comes from a small town called Vermilion in a house that her wonderful friend's dad built!

On the left, we have the very green, stressed out MEGAN GREEN BAUER!! She enjoys desserts of any kind, as long as they do not include pineapple, and her new camera. She also comes from this small peanut town called Vermilion.

As you can see, we weren't feeling very well that night, and that's why our skin is a little discolored. hehe.

So please, support us and buy our new record when it is released in 2010. Join our fanclub, and send us fanmail! GOODNIGHT UNIQUE NEW YORK!!!

"Are You Single, Seymour Butts?"

Holy Cow. I had an interest/fun day/night. First off, it all began at 3:18AM! (I thought this was all a bad dream, until I woke up and looked at my call ID). At exactly 3:18 AM according to my phone, I got a call last night. I rolled out of my sleep and to the other end of my bed, picked up the phone and heard a male voice on the other end...

It said, "Hi is Don there?" .... you've got to be kidding me. If I wake up in the middle of the night to answer the phone someone better be dead, or I better have won something big, really big. I was like, "Uh, no, you have the wrong number. grrrr". He said, "Oh, were you sleeping?!". Uh I surely was smarty pants!
Then....not only did I not win anything, he then begins to hit on me!!!! Can you believe that!? He wakes me at 3:18 AM and hits on me! He says, "Oh you're sleeping? Are you alone? Are you single? How bout some company?!" ...................I hung up. Thought it was all a bad dream until this morning. I'm just going to end that story there. Retard.

Now, Nursing class today was fun. I MET Seymour Butts! The famous Seymour Butts. Have a looksee. On the left, there I am trying his goods on, and on the right... we zoom in on the name. You can just see the beginning there by the hand. Hey everyone, leave me your stupid stories, I wanna hear them!! If you send me pictures via email, I'll post them for ya.

N95 Mask Fitting

Well, in addition to my other blog today, I would like to give you the update on the 'N95 Mask Fitting'. Quite the ordeal it turned out to be. They take you in, give you a little respirator mask and make you 'fit' it. As I filled out the form, one of the spots said, Do you have difficulty smelling? And so then I had to talk with the guy, and he's like, do you eat a lot of spicy food? I was like, not on a regular basis. Well can you taste? And I said, Sure I can taste! He's like, good, you'll be able to taste this stuff. Sweet, away we go. Not quite.

They put this 'hood' thing on you so you feel like a space man, and then they pump a 'milder' form of this crap into the little hole that is on the front of the plastic. It tastes awful. Bitter and your mouth feels like crap. So then, you put on your little mask, and then they pump strong stuff into the 'hood'. And they ask you if you taste it. Well, not at first. then she says 'deep breaths'.. OH GROSS!

Okay, so they threw away that mask...Let's try a different size, you have a funny shaped face! Why thank you! That's why I came, for the compliments...not so much. So they go and get a new size. (By the way, everyone else usually only takes one shot at this). New mask, here we go again...Into the hood I go, and they start pumping this crap.. I made it to like, the third exercize.. There are like 6 you need to do to pass. I failed... So, they throw out the mask...Now we're onto this 'special' mask for 'special faced' people. I get it fitted, and under the hood I go. I make it through all 6 tests...breathe, deep breaths, turn your head, nod your head, read this thing,...and so on. Then, she says. YOU PASSED!! YESSSSS!!!

After having all of this crap pumped into this 'hood' I was wearing, it got hot and sweaty, and gross....I finally passed. So that's how it all went down.

English is Crappy: Wish I Were Austrian

It's 8 o' clock AM....I should be sleeping. But I'm not. I'm sitting in crappy English and the teacher, Ilona Ryder, (almost too close to Wynona Ryder...coincidence? I don't think so) is talking about something soo boring, I need to blog to stay awake. What's she talking about? I wish I could tell you. Why did I come? So I could get a blog done. Hah!

Well, my day has begun boring, and doesn't look promising. However, this afternoon, I have to go for a N95 Mask Fitting...Sounds strange hey? This is the description I was given: "They put this GIANT hood thing over your head and pump it full of crap! And ask you if you can smell!!" Now, this could be very boring, or ridiculously entertaining. Because if you know anything about me, you are aware that I have a 'broken sniffer'. This does not mean that my nose is broken, it means that my SMELLER is broken. I do not smell things...ever. Flowers, rain, farts...nothing. HOWEVER, I got my adenoids (a particular type of tonsil) taken out when they took out my tonsils, well, they tried. But oddly enough, I didn't have any. Well, since I got my tonsils taken out, I could sometimes, possibly, smelll some things. But it's never in a pattern. I smelled popcorn once...almost barfed. It was just so overwhelming I thought I was going to die. But other times, I do not smell the popcorn. All very strange.

So I'm curious as to whether I'm going to be able to smell these things this afternoon. I'll keep you posted. I might puke in the hood, I might be a new creation she's never seen before. Hah!

Well, after I do that, I think I'm going to opt out on studying, hehehe... I wish I could.

Oh, about the "Wish I Were Austrian" part...I don't want to be in English, and if I spoke German I wouldn't have to be here, or wouldn't be expected to understand what she's talking about. And then I'd be back at Caperwray....